Hello! I want to first talk about something that R+M has in the works. Next week I will be releasing a long-awaited post… R+M’s Summer Guide: Philadelphia!! I got the chance to work with some cool companies for this post and I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOU GUYS TO CHECK IT OUT!
Okay, back to the reason you’re here. A while ago I posted on my IG asking for some post ideas. A follower suggested talking about my view on giving second chances when you’re dating and I think it’s a great topic to discuss. I believe there’s a fine line between what actions deserve to be forgiven and when you should close the door on that relationship/potential relationship. R+M's Take is going to be a monthly segment for the site so please DM me future post ideas! So, let’s dive in… shall we?
Unforgivable Acts:
STARTING OFF HOT HERE. Okay, remember when Brad ditched Jen for (the otherworldly beauty) Angelina? UNFORGIVABLE. Everything Tristan did, UNFORGIVABLE. Now, those are both extremes acts of betrayal, I know this. Here are other actions that I believe should never deserve another chance with you.
- Cheating (hallmark of a disastrous relationship. LEAVE!!)
- Betrayal of your trust (lies are like a disease, shit’s going to keep spreading)
- Abuse of any kind (GTFO, press charges, be smart!)
- Don’t respect you (why would you even want to put up with disrespect??)
Minor Infractions:
Okay, I know I can come off pretty brutal here but I want to say this: I understand people make mistakes. I am even human enough to admit to making some mistakes in my life that I was lucky enough to be given another chance to prove myself. There are some minor infractions that people may commit in the dating world that I believe you can have a brief talk with them and you both can move past them.
- Bad communication (people communicate in different ways, talk about it!!)
- Selfish tendencies (if someone hasn’t been in a relationship in a minute they can be pretty selfish, because that’s what they’re used to)
- Misunderstanding (happens all the time, if it’s silly it warrants another chance)
R+M’s Second Chance Test:
I won’t lie to you guys. I have given some guys second chances for displaying total fuck boy behavior. If they were really drunk or were a horrible communicator, I gave them one more chance to prove they were better than their behavior. I am the queen of testing guys and I suggest you guys try this as well.
Give them a simple test. Yes, dating is like school now. Tell them to text you the next day about grabbing a drink or going to grab a bite to eat. If they really want to see you or spend time with you I guarantee they will text you. If you don’t hear from them for a few days/or don’t hear from them at all then… there’s your answer boo boo. Try using this tactic whenever a guy/girl pulls a minor infraction on you. It’s 2019 the year of not wasting our time so this could potentially save you some grief.
I asked my IG followers what they thought about second chances and I got some great responses.
IG Followers Thoughts:
- “Didn’t work out the first time for a reason, it won’t work the second!”
- “Always welcome especially when effort and genuine care is shown”
- “I feel like it depends on how things ended. If there was abuse of cheating then bye”
- “Everyone deserves a second chance unless there’s cheating or abuse involved”
- “Billions of people it’s like a Google search. If it isn’t what you want then hit back and go to the next result”
I am OBSESSED with that last bullet. I love it so much because it’s so true. If you don’t feel like giving someone a second chance, or they totally blow the chance you give them, then move tf on. BYE BYE, TA TA, DON’T WRITE! Close that door hunnniiiiiii. Second chances should be given out only when you have full confidence the person getting that chance is worth it.
I hope you guys enjoyed this post! The summer guide post will be out in the next few weeks and I believe I have something for everyone on there. Can’t wait for you to check it out! Have a great weekend and chat later, hookers <3