Welcome to the first post in the new Revel & Motion's Cheating Series! I'm not sure how many posts will be in this series yet... but I get a lot of DMs regarding cheating so I thought it'd be something my readers would be interested in! Full disclosure: I have cheated, I have been cheated on, and I have been cheated with. Am I a cheating expert? Maybe.
However, I do want to make this clear: I do not condone cheating. If you are being unfaithful in your relationship what's the fucking point of being in one? Just end it and do some serious self-reflecting. That's my hot take.
R&M tell-tale signs they're being unfaithful:
1) They're suddenly weird with their phone (*scrolls through IG at record speed to avoid detection*)
2) Communication style has changed (used to be constantly calling/texting you - now they're ghosting you)
3) Randomly jealous (who is this "Mom" constantly calling you??)
4) Becomes extremely detailed when describing their day ("I was at Max's from 2:33 PM until 3:15 PM and then I went to the gym where I did dead lifts and had a protein shake.")
5) Ignores your feelings (aka they only care about themselves)
6) Sex is different (*since when is he into so much dirty talk?*)
7) Constantly accuses you of cheating (Can I have deflection for $400, Alex?)
Here's an example of a guy going to great lengths to cheat on his girl. A guy I used to talk to, in college, once changed my name in his phone to his friend's name to not alert his gf (WHO HE LIVED WITH) to anything sus he was doing. He was so sus. I remember asking him why he doesn't just break up with her. He told me he loved her and she was the one. They're married now! I feel bad for her every day because the amount of disrespect he showed her by fooling around with me... FOR YEARS!
*what Amber said*
You may be thinking I'm the one in the wrong for messing around with a guy in a relationship. I'll challenge your (judgy) thoughts with this: he was always calling and reaching out to me. He pursued me. Constantly telling me he needed to see me and that I was important to him. I was so young and naive back then. In retrospect, he just liked how easily accessible I was and that I wasn't his girlfriend - I was fun.
If you believe your significant other is being unfaithful my advice is to confront them. Be prepared for them to freak out, deflect, and even threaten breaking up the relationship. If you have proof or a gut feeling - go with it, sis. Make sure you have talked with your support system (friends, family) before having this tough conversation. Those are the people that will be there for you when you need them.
I've been cheated on before and I remember feeling so hurt. Not only did I feel so disrespected, because he slept with a friend of mine, without a condom, before spending a holiday with my family - garbage, but I felt really alone. It was like losing my boyfriend and best friend with a swift stab to the heart. When I confronted him about it originally he lied... for seven months lol. Finally I asked him again and he came clean, claiming it was a one-time mistake. I would bet my next paycheck it was more than a one-time offense. I truly hope he's grown up and hasn't disrespected anyone else. Doubt it because I'm friends with an ex of his and know he cheated on the next few girlfriends! 10/10 dumpster-fire human being.
*live shot of my cheating ex*
If you could take anyway from this post, I hope that it's you should respect yourself always. No matter how long you've been with someone I really believe in putting yourself and your emotions first. At then end of the day, even if you lose it all, things will get better. Don't put up with someone's bullshit and cheating just because you're scared of being alone. Respect yourself more and know that you can thrive without needing to be in a relationship.