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Once a Cheater... Always a Cheater?

Updated: Jul 11, 2020

Ahhhhh, chill title. Do you agree with it? This may be a hot take but.. I don't believe this is the case. I'll happily tell you why! My mom and I are really similar in a lot of ways. We're both not someone you want to mess with, driven, and very open. My mom and father have a great relationship, one that I aspire to have one day, and are truly each other's best friends. A fun fact about my mom.. she has cheated on every boyfriend she's had until she met my father! She said she knew he was the one because she didn't want anyone else once they got together. So, no... I don't believe once a cheater always a cheater! Quickly I will explain what Revel+Motion defines as cheating: any physical or emotional romantic connection with someone other than your significant other. Now, there are definitely some people out there that cheat that will ALWAYS be cheaters. I believe they are capable of their version of "love" but will never be fully fulfilled by a single partner. I'm going to call them Clooneys, and I know George is married with kids now but for years he was notorious of never being tied down. A Clooney will always cheat because they've gotten away with it multiple times or they're unable to fully put their partner before themselves. Here's a quick story about the Clooney who actually inspired this post: I was on Bumble swiping left to literally everyone when a profile stopped me. He looked familiar and once I went through his profile and saw his dog I knew where I recognized him from. He was the boyfriend of a former coworker of mine. I felt a rush of anxiety and wasn't sure what to do. First I screen-shotted it, then I swiped right to ensure he was active on there - we matched so he was, and then I sent the girl a message. "Hi, I'm sending you this because I'd want it sent to me... isn't this your boyfriend?" I wrote her. She confirmed and admitted I was one of many girls who sent her his dating app profile. SCUMBAG! She told me he was hooking up with other girls while they were LIVING together and would always go on dating apps when they were "on a break". I feel so truly bad for her but I hope that she realizes that he will always be a Clooney and she deserves someone that will put her first.  Now, I want to be super honest with you guys and admit I have cheated on boyfriends in the past. If you're an avid R+M reader then you know that my second boyfriend cheated on me with a friend of mine (WITHOUT A CONDOM) and then spent a holiday with my family. I obviously had NO idea he had cheated until months later when he finally told me. That former boyfriend is and will always be scum of the earth to me, I wish him nothing but failure. Moving on, I did cheat on him too, lol. However, mine was making out with a baseball player and it was after my boyfriend ghosted me for an entire week and I suspected he was doing shady shit. Not saying it's right... I'm saying don't make me do vengeful shit! I also cheated on my first boyfriend ever, I'm aware I'm making myself look really great here! I was 19 and unhappy in the relationship, I wish I had the courage to just end it but I was scared to lose my best friend. In retrospect, I was hurting my best friend/boyfriend by cheating on him and I must have never loved him as much as I thought I did because I purposely hurt him.  As a former cheater, I can tell you that if you're being cheated on that guy/girl doesn't really love you. It sucks to say and hear that but it's true. I asked my IG followers to let me know if they've cheated or been cheated on and I got A TON of responses. One girl told me that all their friends knew but helped him cover it up. A guy said his girlfriend got drunk at a concert he was the DD for and drunkenly admitted to sleeping with another guy every weekend he was out of town - yikes. Another girl told me she only knew because the other girl DM'ed her about hooking up with her boyfriend. My heart breaks for you all because I have been cheated on too and I hope my insight of being the cheater helps you get over the pain of it a little quicker. If they cheated multiple times on you they WILL CONTINUE TO DO IT! You deserve more respect than that and someone who really loves you. If they really loved you they wouldn't make such a selfish, hurtful choice to disrespect you. I hope you guys liked this post! I can't believe I haven't written about cheating in-depth before. As always, please reach out with story ideas and any website feedback! I love getting DMs from my readers about my writing whether it's compliments or constructive criticism. It still blows my mind when I get messages asking when a new post is going to drop - you guys careeeee *crying emoji* 

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