Hi guys!!!! It's been a minute since a post. I have been SO busy and haven't had any time to write - apologies. You are in for a treat with this post. I have a story of a guy I recently talked to that did everything you SHOULDN'T do when you're going after someone in the dating game. This is truly a cautionary tale. We will call this guy F and that is what I would grade him for his dating/communication/game skills. Enjoy <3
It was just another night of wine and housewives in my apartment. I was mindlessly swiping through Hinge when I got a notification some liked me. It was F, and he was, eh, okay looking. Only really one picture on his profile I thought he looked really cute in, some guys aren't photogenic though - I was hoping this was the case. What I liked about his profile was his job, he was in the same business as me. I decided to allow it and accepted the chat. He was aggressive right off the bat asking what company I worked for (this will be a theme) and asking my coworkers names. I thought it was a little weird because we weren't working in the same accounts or anything. He then asks me if I want to grab a drink and for my number. ​ It has been a little slow on the dating scene for me so I obliged. And honestly, I've been bored. F texts me right away and already I wasn't into his communication style. He was just a lot and asking me a million questions about myself. That night he told me to give him a call so we could talk. Excuse me, are you new here?? Who exchanges #s with a stranger and immediately starts talking with them on the phone? Simmer down, Ted Bundy. He asks my schedule and wants to get a drink that weekend. I'm busy and he's disappointed - like I care. ​ Ugh, it gets so much more annoying and worse. He sends me snapchats, multiple texts, responds to my IG story. Someone alert the authorities, I'm being smothered via technology by a guy I haven't met before. He has the audacity to send me a "wya" text late on a Saturday night. Sir, I'm in my bed and you have no right to inquire past 11 PM. AGAIN, we haven't even met and he was acting like we had been dating or hooking up for weeks, please take a xanax and calllllmmm downnnnn. One morning I just unleash on him after two stupid snapchats and a dumb, pointless text he sent me. I tell him he's a lot and he's blowing me up too much. He snaps back that "we don't have to hang out then", he's literally not doing anything wrong - he explains. I sigh with relief but he was not to be deterred. F then writes back he does want to hang out and agrees he was being too much. Yeah, I have whiplash too, it's not just you. ​ I decide to finally just go on a date with this guy. I want a free meal and if it doesn't go well he can then back the fuck off. I had gotten a facial earlier in the day and my face was still red by the time of the date. I contemplated putting makeup on but then remembered I didn't give a shit what he thinks of me and showed up in sweats and a blotchy face, sexy I know. He was actually much cuter in person and surprisingly really chill. I had a NICE time and was actually looking forward to seeing him again. I couldn't believe this was the annoying guy that had been texting me the past few weeks. I told him to just act the way he did in person and reminded him I don't like to be smothered. F said he understood and we hugged and agreed to hang out when I was back from my crazy week of travel. ​ F scored some points with me when he sent me Venmo payments for drinks at the airport. I love someone thoughtful like that. He wished me luck on my work presentation and I thought he finally got it. NOPE! Then I went to Boston to visit my friends and instead of giving me space with my friends he was blowing me up wanting to chat. I am trying to get trashed in Southie, leave me alone!!!! ​ It all came to a head this week and I completely lost my shit. It started with me flat out telling him I don't think I'm sexually attracted to him. His response? I'm taking you out on Wednesday. I tell him on the phone his communication style is a turn off and he STILL KEEPS AT IT. I have never been so up front with someone and have them totally not get it. Seriously, how much more clear could I be? The last straw was when I told him to not text me until Thursday and he couldn't even last 24 hours. He texts me that I look like a social media influencer (who is very pretty but I look NOTHING like). I couldn't believe this is what he texted me when I specifically asked him to not reach out. I lay into him saying I don't want to hang out with him in the future and we aren't compatible. Reiterating one last time his communication style sucks. ​ HE SAYS HE DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS THAT SERIOUS AND WILL GIVE ME SPACE. F needs a reality check. I will even help cover the co-pay for some serious treatment. If a girl tells you she isn't attracted to you, doesn't want you to talk to her, and thinks you're too much that DOESN'T MEAN TRY AGAIN. Take the L, you lose. This truly needs to be a lesson to everyone dating: the chase is important. This guy was too available. He was showing his friends my IG and website before he even hang out with me. F was so desperate to hang out with me he completely blew it for himself. ​ This did teach me that I can't deal with someone with this type of personality. I need someone much more laid back and relaxed. I sincerely hope he finds what he's looking for because I am absolutely not it. DISCLAIMER: I'm not totally heartless. I do believe that you can really click with someone and be into talking to them all the time. You just have to read if the other person is into it. I mean for fuck's sake we hadn't even kissed and he was this obsessed with me, it's a bit concerning. Listen to when people talk, they're speaking for a reason!! For your entertainment, I attached some screenshots of texts so you can get the full grasp on the verbal smackdown. Tootles <3
