Happy Tuesday hookers! Hitting you with an early-week post about…. *drumroll please*…. going on dates, big surprise. I apologize I’m just now getting this posted, I had a v busy weekend of drinking and wearing a green wig (peep my IG: @rilieghm for photo proof)
Dates come in a all different forms: the casual, the formal, the fun, the boring, etc. I’ve decided to write about some of the most common types of dates you’re most likely to go on while navigating the single waters, enjoy.
Oh we’ve all been on this type of date. You meet someone who you aren’t really sure what connection you have with them except maybe being physically attracted to them. You probably meet for drinks or an early dinner and you’re nervous because you don’t really know this person except their first name and IG handle. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: first dates are like job interviews… but with more cleavage. You need to prepare yourself for formality-like questions: Where are you from? How many siblings do you have? What do you do for work? What do you do for fun? *snore*
A lot of questions that don’t really give you a good idea of who the person really is sitting across from you. I mean he could be the next Ted Bundy or your future husband, who tf knows. What do I suggest you do if you find yourself on this type of date? THANKS FOR ASKING!! My answer is: drink. I’m really professional and mature, lol. Sometimes a couple drinks will help loosen you both up and wash away the nerves. DISCLOSURE: I DO NOT SUPPORT DOING THIS FOR REAL JOB INTERVIEWS.
On this type of date when you’re trying to decide how this person could potentially fit in your life (romantically, sexually, amicably, or absently) try to realize the other person is also trying to figure it out as well. Just enjoy getting to know someone new with the comfort of knowing your food and drinks are being paid for (because we DO NOT flinch when the bill comes out on the first date, say it with me ladies).
The I Love You Already:
This happens rarely but when it does hold tf on because it’s a wild ride. You meet someone who you connect with right away on all levels. There’s a lot of texting, snapping, and communication leading up to the date and it feels like you kind of already know the person. Then it’s strangely really easy with them and they aren’t so much a stranger anymore. You might start making plans far in the future with them without realizing how batshit that sounds, like you just met them chill out hunni.
The guy will talk about you meeting family members possibly and the small part of your brain is thinking, what is this kid’s last name? Your heart/lust is taking over this particular type of date because it’s the feeling of relief you’ve finally found someone you really connect with and maybe you won’t be single forever. This is the most dangerous type of date though because it’s not going to end well, I’m warning you.
You will start grandiose planning of your future with someone you don’t even know because you built up a fantasy in your mind. Look, this has happened to me before and I can tell you, shamelessly, it scared the crap out of the guy. Which can I blame him??? Not at all, it would creep me out. Enjoy the fact you met someone cool that you are really into and chill out about it. If it’s meant to be it will be, you know, all that garbage.
The Get Me Out of Here:
You sent a text to a girlfriend while you’re in the bathroom to call you in 10 min and pretend to be really upset so you have an excuse to leave this nightmare type of date. This is giving me flashbacks to my date with the tortured soul, scroll down to read that hilarious story, holy shit I was desperate to get out of there.
This type of date where you just know right off the bat this person isn’t going to do it for you. That doesn’t mean they aren’t nice or cool, you just aren’t attracted to them in that way. The part that sucks about this is that they probably are attracted to you, but really that’s not your problem. If you’re truly heartless, you will continue to use them for free food but come on, you’re better than that.
If you aren’t feeling them then just be straight up with them and tell them that! You don’t want anyone wasting your time - so don’t waste theirs. If they try to kiss you at the end of the date just say no or give them the classic head-turn-cheek move. You don’t owe them anything other than a thank you!
I know there are other types of dates I can add but ya girl is feeling lazy. If you have any suggestions you know my DMs are open! I’ve been casually dating and have definitely been on all three of these types of dates in the past year alone. If you have your own experience please share it with me! Thanks for reading and have a great week hookers <3