Updated: Jul 9, 2020
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“We met in a bar, he bought me a shot,” says a random girl to her friends when they ask how she met her newest boyfriend who she is, of course, head over heels for. Her friends tilt their heads and say, “Oh my gawddd! How cute!!!” with a trace of jealousy in their strained smiles.
Is it sad that’s a fantasy of mine? I would love to meet a guy the “old fashioned way”. How fucking pathetic. That’s what I’d love to have. Instead I am getting guys sliding in my DM’s or on dating apps like Bumble or The League. I’ll have friends asking me how I met whoever. “Oh we met on a dating app,” I would say as I go bright red and cringe. My friend would head tilt and say, “Oh that’s so normal nowadays.” As I can see the judgement in her eyes. Vomit.
Meeting a guy in a normal way virtually never happens to me anymore. I have truly fantasized while getting ready for a night out about a guy coming up to me at the bar or sending me a drink. We hit it off, and I don’t suspect he’s drugging me. This has happened to me only once before and the guy ended up having a micro-penis. I am so serious. Of course.
Where are these men you just casually bump into that magically hit all the marks on your unrealistic list? HOW ARE SOME PEOPLE SO LUCKY?! Is this just the stereotypical “right place right time” saying? “God puts you where you need to be”? That bullshit?
I don’t think I’ll ever lose that hope when I’m getting ready that tonight might just be the night I meet someone cool that I'll actually have a connection with. Hopefully it’ll happen and fingers crossed he doesn’t have a micro because honestly, that's not on brand for me.
As always, I’m open to post suggestion! Shoot me an email or DM me. The next couple posts I have lined up are: why I left TV, guys “moves” and I’ll rank the success rate, and a R+M travel guide. Stay tuned, thanks for reading, hookers <3